Fuck off.
Pros: Using the disc to scare crows out your garden, makeshift frisbee, classy coaster, mini mirror, can be used to inspect your hemorrhoids. Sometimes the game crashes and you don’t have to play anymore. Can easily be confused with original game in archive listings.
Cons: Everything about it
Everyone loves Sonic right?
Well, you might have noticed a trend on this site that suggests we aren’t the biggest fans of the entire series. But the first one? That was a masterpiece! Right? Continue reading
Hi, my name is Jamie and I like to shitpost about Sonic games because it offends the sensibilities of the people out there that can’t see how terrible Sonic’s legacy truly is.
And after the many successes of fantastic games such as; Sonic The Fighter, Sonic R, and Sonic Adventure I thought I’d try a game I had never heard of.
Turns out this is Sonic 3D Blast, so I have heard of it, but us PAL lot got the same game with a different name (I am easily confused) and the subtitle is inexplicably small text on the box. Continue reading
Imagine a world where for every good Mario game there was a “Mario is Missing” and “Luigi’s Time Machine“?
Imagine living in a world where you would do anything for the ones you love, only for them to spit a big green loogie in your face?
Well folks, that is the world Sonic fans have lived in since around 1994. Craig in his Sonic Adventure 2 succinctly alluded to the fact that the more of Sonic’s extended universe appearing in a given game the worse the game was, and with Sonic and 7 of his buddies in tow, how do you think the game shapes up? Continue reading
“People need to be entertained, they need the distraction. I wish to God that someone would be able to block out the voices in my head for five minutes, the voices that scream, over and over again: “Why do they come to me to die? Why do they come to me to die?” – Glenn, Waynes World 2.
Why do they come to me to die? Continue reading
I’ve been bashing poor Sonic on here quite a bit. It hasn’t been intentional, I’ve genuinely gone back to Sonic R and Sonic Adventure because I loved them as a child. For clarity – I was a stupid, stupid child. So for the sake of fairness, I decided to revisit what many argue is the best Sonic game. It’s bound to have held up better than the woeful 3d games, isn’t it? Isn’t it?! ISN’T IT?! I CAN’T GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN! Continue reading
Shit.
