Star Wars: Flight of the Falcon. Pocket Studios (2003) Gameboy Advance

This game is a big fat phoney as there is actually not a lot of the Millennium Falcon in it. But then I guess “Star Wars: Generic Space Combat Game” didn’t have as good a ring to it.

Now to give this game some context, it is so poor I literally couldn’t get anyone out of 20,000 to play it, and thus chucked the bastard game into a mosh pit at Bloodstock Festival and watched 75% of the game on YouTube. Continue reading

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The Simpsons Wrestling. Big Ape Productions (2001) PlayStation

Aye carumba, why do I do this to myself? Continue reading

Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic Team (2006). PlayStation 3

Fuck off.

Pros: Using the disc to scare crows out your garden, makeshift frisbee, classy coaster, mini mirror, can be used to inspect your hemorrhoids. Sometimes the game crashes and you don’t have to play anymore. Can easily be confused with original game in archive listings.

Cons: Everything about it

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Resident Evil: Survivor 2, Code: Veronica. Capcom/Namco (2002) PlayStation 2

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I need to stop playing awful Light Gun Games. I am fairly sure I am the only person that likes On-Rails shooters, and I am now fairly sure I have played all the good ones.

In my Resident Evil: Survivor review, I said it was a 40% game as a Light Gun Shooter or 45% as a Resident Evil experience, but somehow added up to a decent enough gaming experience, and in the Dino Stalker Review I didn’t especially like it, but it was just about functional.

With that, we scrape the Resident Evil barrel and what is left of Light Gun Games barrel to see if we have an at least functional game.

Continue reading

Games Revisited’s Retro Gaming Hall of Shame!

We are coming up to our three year anniversary, and will be doing a top 50 list of the best Retro Games, that we think you should play.

To prepare you for such a momentous occasion, we are going to show you a very short list of the absolute trash that you should avoid, keeping in mind we avoid bad games where possible, these are games that we tried, and wanted to give a chance, but we found nothing redeemable about them.

We consider these games to be so bad we won’t even link to them. Except to the Sonic Fanboi pages on Reddit.

In no particular order… Continue reading

Mad Dog McCree. American Laser Games (1990) Arcade

I am going to do a top Light gun Games list soon, and to do that I want to get a few games out of the way. So apologies to the many people who don’t like On-Rails shooters as much as me.

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Mad Dod McCree is a Shower of Shit.

If you really have to play this game then buy the Nintendo WII version, as at least you get the other 2 pieces of shit in the series on one disc. Continue reading

Lethal Enforcers. Konami (1997) PlayStation

The site has become a bit Capcom heavy, so I am going to try upping the Konami output for the month with Konami Month.

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Originally released in the arcades in 1992, with the home console conversions shortly after. I never saw this in an arcade, so my first experience was the Genesis version that was released around Christmas 1993, as well as a SNES port in mid 1994. I don’t particularly remember it, but I like my light gun games, so here we are.

Suffice to say, as I refused to spend the money required to buy Genesis/arcade versions of Lethal Enforcer, I’ll make do with the PS1 version. Continue reading