The X-Files. HyperBole Studios (1999) PlayStation

I bought this a while ago and have completely ignored it since then. However, recently the game is popping up on Twitter and me being me I decided to see if the truth is out there.

I want to believe… That this game is good. Continue reading


Tekken 2. Namco (1996) PlayStation

I enjoy a bit of Tekken, it holds up well enough and felt fairly fluid for a game released in 1995. But what about the first sequel? Continue reading

Space Hulk: Vengeance of the Blood Angels. Key Game (1996) PlayStation

What better way to indulge my current two favourite hobbies of Warhammer (Horus Heresy) and Retro Gaming than to play a game that manages to combine the two?

Back in 1996 I temporarily collected Warhammer 40k and owned this game, and to be honest, I remember hating Space Hulk and can remember not getting very far.

So with that, let’s get nerdy, don the Terminator armour of the Blood Angels, and smoosh the faces of the Tyranids and see if Space Hulk has aged like a fine wine. Continue reading

Top 15 Light Gun Guns

I love Light Gun Games, but what about the guns themselves? are they any good?

Well wonder no more, for I have gotten my hands on as many as I can and played as many games as possible with them,. So here is my none definitive list* of best Light Gun Guns. I will rate them on the following:

  • Comfort: How comfortable is the thing to hold: Too heavy, feels cheap, awkward?
  • Game Support: All the ergonomic design in the world won’t make up for having one game released for it will it?
  • Value for money**: This is surprisingly multifaceted. Games are covered on their own section but one great game doesn’t make a £50 gun a good investment, and do you need to buy other add-ons to make it work?
  • Does it actually work?: Simple really, but does the gun hit what I am pointing at? Some games worked off grids so if you’re in the same post code you’ll hit. Some are ultra accurate and to hit the exact same spot twice in a row you need a sniper rifle and a tripod.
  • My Rating: Perhaps the most important aspect, do I like the gun. Does it annoy me, do I rush to play that console because the gun is such a pleasure to hold? Or would I rather sodomise myself with the gun than actually use it as a gun.
  • Overall: The previous points are all scored out of 10. This is me trying to add up numbers to achieve an overall figure.

I will only include “main” guns that were released in the UK that I can get my hands on, they can either be first or 3rd party guns but they need to have sold more than three guns. So that weird ultra realistic Chinese import you had and loved doesn’t count, or the JAP/US only guns. I don’t do imports, but if you have one let me know and I’ll consider adding it.

* I am not including consoles that have wooden panelling or on-screen displays that make the NES look ultra Hi-Def.
** Where prices are stated the UK price is based on what I consider reasonable on eBay, the US is rounded up or down. Conversion based on exchange rates in May 2017 Continue reading

The Simpsons Wrestling. Big Ape Productions (2001) PlayStation

Aye carumba, why do I do this to myself? Continue reading

Destruction Derby 2. Reflections Interactive (1996) PlayStation

What better way to celebrate my 201st post spectacular by doing the sequel to my 14th?

I rated Destruction Derby quite highly, but what about the sequel?


Alright so DD2 is a racing game with the same twist as the first. Racing is the supposed to be the secondary aspect of the race and your primary focus is crashing into opponents. You start in Division 4, and move your way up to the top by winning points, hopefully winning your league to move up to the next league.the next season, and some newer tracks.

Points are rewarded for winning a race, but more points are rewarded for you attacking other cars; destroying a car nets you 50 points, spin a car 90degrees will gain you 10 points, do this to 1st place and the points are DOUBLED so you can theoretically rack up points if you are not terrible.

Win a race, get 10 points… It means that racing is redundant, and very few AI cars attempt to race. Meaning the only way to win is to fuck shit up.

Once they pass you you’ll never see them again.

The tracks

Alright, so this a pretty important aspect of a Racing Game, and problem is, I am not a fan. Destruction Derby had small, tight tracks, and several incorporated crossover points to maximise the crash potential. DD2‘s tracks are overly long, so you’ll spend more time looking for other racers to crash into, or reversing around the track…

Just reverse…

The tracks are ideal for the standard racing mode, but I reckon you’ll be buying Destruction Derby for the Destruction.

The problem comes from a switch from Banger Racing to more Nascar style racing. This was done specifically to appeal to the American audience, but it means DD2 misses its own point.

The Bowls remain, and now you can unlock more by progressing single player mode, and they are still the best part. If you didn’t play the first game what these are are “20 drivers crashing into each other“. They are fast and fun, the only issue is they are often over too quickly.

Oh yeah, you now flip over REALLY easily.

A shite analogy for my sexlife

Like my sexlife it is all over too quickly. The damage to your car is too quick, so crash 3 times and you’re pretty much out. To counter this, there is a new pit-stop mechanic, which allows you to fix damage, but usually means not seeing another car again. As this isn’t avaiable in the Bowls, the Bowl is often over after 30 seconds. Which for me, ruins the best feature of the game.

It means you can either over poon, maybe get some points and die in a race. Or, poon a little and pitstop so that you can finish the race but get no more points.

All this means that pit stopping has no advantage to it unless you are playing the regular racing mode, and again, this is Destruction Derby…

Get used to this screen


I really don’t have much to say. DD2 isn’t as fun as DD1 as there seems to be too much focus on racing. This might sound like an odd criticism for a racing game, but if you want a racer with shitty physics and bland track(s) play Ridge Racer. If you want a fun crashathon, play Destruction Derby.

Having cars made out of cheese, moon buggy physics, and bland racers mean DD2 simply isn’t a patch on the original.

Pros: 20 cars per race

Cons: Just a bit rubbish, music is atrocious generic Thrash Metal, lazy sequel


Back in the Day:

Praised for a better collision detection system and improved physics, DD2 was also criticised for having overly aggressive AI, and the fact it is impossible to catch up to the ones “racing” DD2 went on to score 80s or 8/10 type scores.