Star Wars: Flight of the Falcon. Pocket Studios (2003) Gameboy Advance

This game is a big fat phoney as there is actually not a lot of the Millennium Falcon in it. But then I guess “Star Wars: Generic Space Combat Game” didn’t have as good a ring to it.

Now to give this game some context, it is so poor I literally couldn’t get anyone out of 20,000 to play it, and thus chucked the bastard game into a mosh pit at Bloodstock Festival and watched 75% of the game on YouTube. Continue reading

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Crash Bandicoot XS. Vicarious Visions (2002) GameBoy Advance

I am not sure which name is worse, Crash Bandicoot XS or it’s non PAL name Crash Bandicoot: The Huge Adventure. There would be a good argument the XS stands for excessive if you’re dyslexic, but “Huge” is certainly a stretch. Continue reading

Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones. Intelligent Systems (2005) Gameboy Advance

Fire Emblem (2003) was a game that had a tonne of potential, but was ultimately let down by the fact that it tore up it’s own rule book two thirds into the game and had maddening difficulty spikes. Additionally, it was probably 10 Chapters too long, so overall I was a little disappointing in it.

Rather than writing off the series, I decided to jump into the sequel The Sacred Stones, and see if I would enjoy this outing into the Fire Emblem Universe. Continue reading

The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap. Nintendo/Capcom (2004) Gameboy Advance

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I truly hated Oracle of Ages, so much so that I originally gave it zero percent. I felt Capcom got it all wrong by introducing too much 1980’s Capcom difficulty and obtuseness.  My opinion on it mellowed after some time, but I still consider it to be the worst Zelda game that isn’t one of the CD-i games. So it was with some hesitation that I approached The Minish Cap.
Continue reading

Fire Emblem. Intelligent Systems (2004) Gameboy Advance

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Also know as “Fire Emblem 2003” (US release date) and Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade to help it stand out in a series that at this point had 6 games in the series. It was the first game in the series to get a Western Localisation and is a prequel to The Binding Blade, the 6th in the series.

There are many games that I have played in my time that have made me angry, but none that have made me quite as apocalyptic with rage as Fire EmblemFallout 2 made me rage by a stupid difficulty spike at the end, and the shear RNGESUS of Football Manager made me smash more than a fair number of keyboards.

And with that, we have a game with awful RNGesus, a stupid difficulty wall that puts even Shaolin Monks and Fallout 2 to shame, yet somehow, manages to maintain a certain charm.

There were moments where I threw the Gameboy across the room, and it is probably a marvel that the console survived the experience. Continue reading