Games Revisited’s Games That Are Actually Worse Than Sonic Adventure

Sonic Adventure is terrible. It really is, but since starting the site we have on more than one occasion stepped in a pile of shit so vile we wished we were drinking a diarrhea smoothie while playing Sonic Adventure on a bed of broken glass. This isn’t to cut Sonic Adventure any slack, as it is truly TRULY bad and our life goal is to spread this message. But here are the growing collection of games that are so bad, Sonic Adventure isn’t our worst game ever anymore.

It is telling that we are now having to cut games off this list, so fans of Star Wars: Flight of the Falcon and Resident Evil Survivor 2: Code Veronica rejoice as we no longer deem those games to be worth(less)y to feature on our worst games list.

 

15. Terminator 2 on the Commodore 64

Man this game is bad and fucking awful to play. Turn the game on and you’re immediately in a fight with the T-1000. Just straight in to an awful fist fight with no explanation. If you can somehow figure out the buttons in this baptism of fire, then you will be transposed into the Storm Drain scene where you have to have pixel perfect reactions to avoid the obstacles and the T-1000 in a truck. If you bother to learn the game enough to get passed here you are some kind of auteur.

most of the game is these shitty fights

14. Mad Dog McCree

Fucking awful. Good idea, terrible game – unresponsive, glitchy, short, poorly acted, and intelligence insulting nonsense. This counts for all three Mad Dog McCree games.

Mmmm, Boobies.

13. Mega Man’s Soccer

Imagine Final Fantasy X’s Blitzball, but even more clunky, with roughly 3 frames of animation and a frame rate around 7 frames per game?That would be an improvement on Mega Man’s Soccer.

It simply doesn’t work, and relies on the awful gimmick of each Robot Master being a  player.

Being a slow and clunky dude made of wood is a perfect analogy for this game

12. Jurassic Park on the Super Nintendo

Just think of all those poor kids who woke up on Christmas day in 1993 to this as their Christmas present. The look of hope and joy in their eyes extinguished as soon as they turned Jurassic Park on to discover it is an unplayable spunk bubble with possibly the worst example of 3D in the 16bit era.

My EYES!!! They bleed!

11. Simpsons Wrestling

This is a big bag of wank. Never play it. Unplayable, awful design choices, and honestly the weirdest character choice based on the Simpsons Universe possible.

Why yes, people CAN jump twice the height of houses…

10. Shaq-Fu

A Game so terrible we got a mediocre reboot that was comparatively brilliant. The reboot wasn’t good, but it is a work of art compared to this shit stain on gaming history.

Shaq also Space Jams it and returns for the big game!

9. Musya: The Japanese Tale of Horror

Musya is just bad. It is one of those games where I muted the sound after 15 seconds but imagine a beat ’em up/platformer where you’re a Pikeman with the range of a gnat and the platforming is broken. So failing the mark on both of it’s premises.

It is fucking awful and deserves microwaving. The only reason I haven’t trashed this game is it cost me $75.

You can’t jump this small gap without the god float jump…

8. Pit-Fighter

Why were there so many shitty tournament fighters? Pit Fighter is awful, and while ported to almost every console none of the games work. Hit-boxes don’t work, punches that have no weight to them, and funny differences between each version as console limitations meant each version cut something differently. Honestly, their isn’t a “good” version of Pit-Fighter and there are no reasons to play the game other than it not being Sonic Adventure

Arcade gameplay

7. Bubsy 3D

Yeah, we know, everyone knows that Bubsy3D is terrible, but our mate Nik (who we should probably mention is no longer our mate) tried convincing us it isn’t as bad as people say. He was wrong 4 years ago, and he is still wrong now. It is however no longer the worst game we’ve played.

Euurgh

6. Sonic Adventure

Sorry, we tried our hardest to not include Sonic Adventure, but it really is a fundamentally terrible game and you should feel bad if you like it, Craig’s review 5 years ago was “Shit” and nothing more aptly describes this game than “shit”.

5. Sonic the Hedgehog 06

Pahahahahahahahahahaha, this game is bad and it should make Sonic fans feel bad, but admittedly, it is also worse than Sonic Adventure.

4. Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub Zero

It is a apt that the subtitle of this game is Sub Zero, as that is the score we give it if we are being nice and consider Mythologies qualifies enough as a game to deserve a score. It’s only redeeming quality is that watching somebody else play it is absolutely hilarious.

3. Sonic the Fighters

Sonic the Fighters is pretty much what Sonic fanbois deserved (I still take offense to this statement – Craig), terrible imbalanced shite (this statement, however, is incredibly apt – Craig) that sums up our relationship with Team Sonic and their ability to churn out substandard games.

Yes, Sonic the Fighters DOES get this blurry

2. Ballz 3D: Fighting At Its Ballziest

Ballz is a dog of a game. It is an early attempt at 3d on a console not designed for 3D. This leads to abysmal framerates and 3D movement that doesn’t even remotely work. Ballz is possibly the worst Tournament Fighter I have ever played and the soundtrack IS the worst thing i’ve heard. And I have heard my band play as well, as the Sonic Adventure soundtrack.

HA, look how shit it is

1. King of Monsters 2

King of Monsters (the first one) was a deeply flawed Tournament Fighter that had a novelty that would keep you coming back. TKOM2 is a cross between faux-Beat ’em Up / Faux-Tournament Fighter. It gets all these elements wrong, misses the mark and is frankly terrible. What good will is created by the novelty in the first game is quickly lost as you punch yourself in the genitals repeatedly to forget about this abomination. I honestly don’t think there is a worse game out there.

Wank bubble

Jesus it is impressive how bad Sega are at making Sonic Games. Maybe we should try Superman 64, or SpiceWorld on the PS1 and see if they can steal the fecal crown? Who knows, maybe one day Sonic Adventure won’t be a bottom 10 game?

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I'm awesome. I write about videogames occasionally but spend most time painting and playing Warhammer in varying formats.

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10 comments on “Games Revisited’s Games That Are Actually Worse Than Sonic Adventure
  1. Red Metal says:

    Honestly, if anyone told me that Bubsy 3D wasn’t that bad, I wouldn’t take any subsequent recommendations or assessments of theirs seriously ever again. The circumstances surrounding its creation are actually quite tragic, but an abysmal game is an abysmal game. I do agree it’s not quite as bad as Ballz 3D, though.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have another mate that thinks BALLZ 3D isn’t that bad don’t know what’s wrong with these people!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Red Metal says:

        I think the problem is that many gamers are willing to overlook slights from the nineties because of nostalgia. While there are plenty of bad games being made now, they don’t have a reasonable chance of being purchased en masse unless the publisher effects a review embargo (and even that’s not a guarantee). Back then, you could get suckered out of your cash because the game had cool box art or because the game beared a famous film license. Sure, the medium has problems now, but they are, by and large, easier to manage. In fact, I posit that games are generally better now than they’ve ever been.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hard to disagree with that. Sure the big 4 publishers are complacent and release some shonkey stuff it doesn’t compete with the likes of LJN type cashgrabs.

        The amount of terrible NES games I bought because of box art is frankly embarrassing (Bayou Billy I’m looking at you)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. TrevoStuden says:

    Please offer me some of the drugs you guys are smoking.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. dreager1 says:

    Heh, most of these games look pretty solid tho. I think I’ve been brainwashed by Sega, I need Nintendo to show me the light once more!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I was so disappointed by Jurassic Park as a kid. I remember renting it and thinking it was shit…. but about a year ago, I bought it at a game store for a couple bucks just so I can play it and laugh about how bad it was. But I played Shaq-Fu way more than I care to admit haha! I was also like 9 and didn’t have many games. And Ballz 3D is… awful.

    Liked by 1 person

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