The King of Monsters 2. SNK (1993) Neo Geo

 

Jesus this game can fuck right off.

Gameplay

I complained in the King of Monsters review that it was supposed to be a Tournament Fighter type game but played like a Beat ‘Em Up due to a lack of attacks or variety. With The King of Monsters 2 they have tried to turn the game into a Beat ‘Em Up. What this means is that you will have a really short level, that seems to be about 20 seconds long where you fight enemies that shouldn’t really be there. You’re a giant ass monster and the trash you fight is a few turds and a tank or two, you punch them once and they dead. You then get a boss fight that goes on for-fucking-ever.

Wank

Bosses/Difficulty

The game is fucking impossible. The character you choose is terrible and while they are physically able to pick up the Eiffel Tower and bean a boss in the head with it, you’ll do precisely fuck all damage to them. Pick them up, throw them in the air and stab them with your spines? Fuck All DAMAGE. Electro-shock therapy? FUCK ALL DAMAGE. See the pattern? F U C K  A L L  D A M A G E.

But the enemy? Yeah they bringing the pain train. You get about 7 bars of health, enemy farts near you? Minus 3 bars. Punches you? 3 Bars. Shoots a fireball at you? Oddly only 1 bar of damage. It makes no sense, but all the while you have to bean the enemy 783 times to hurt them. But they are always 3 hits away from killing you. Whats worse is some bosses will enter a loop of attacks that will kill you endlessly. The douche-tard in the Grand Canyon will jump spin attack you and it is timed in such a way that the next jump spin will hit as you stand up, meaning you take damage, and he’ll just repeat this fucking attack endlessly. The only way I got out of it was after taking a continue and losing another life (4 lives in total to this) he seemed to just get bored and decided to try a different attack.

It was this point I turned this fucking game off.

This stage is known as “French City”. I think we can guess which one

Story

Don’t care.

Characters

There were only six characters in King of Monsters, and in TKOM2 really pushes the boat out with… Three. Three fucking characters.

  • Mecha-King KongWoo: Robot version of the shit guy from the first game (Woo in first)
  • Super Geon: Not Godzilla (Geon in first). Also shit.
  • Atomic Guy: The worlds shittest looking Captain America clone (Astroguy in first). Obviously shit.

Character select…

Conclusion

I only played this game because I didn’t think it could be worse than the first. It is.

SNK managed to make TWO games where you’re a giant fucking monster trashing cities and whomping on other giant FUCKING monsters boring. This is honestly an achievement in ineptitude and a fucking disgrace to gaming. I honestly think I could have done a better job.

As for the score, I gave The King of Monsters and extra 20% because it was such a novel premise and prevent it falling in the Shower of Shit Category. It was poorly made but the premise is fucking awesome. Here? No. I’m taking that 20% back which will sadly give out first minus score.

Pros: There are none. It is fucking awful and is the worst game I’ve ever played. Yes, worse than Sonic Adventure.

Cons: Such a waste of an excellent premise.

-17%

Back in the Day:

Can’t find reviews and I’m not even going to try.

Also Available on: DON’T FUCKING CARE.

 

 

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I'm awesome. I write about videogames and play bass guitar.

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Posted in Neo Geo
5 comments on “The King of Monsters 2. SNK (1993) Neo Geo
  1. GH says:

    I’m smiling reading this – can’t believe you tried KOTM2! I’m hoping there is a third game to review…

    Liked by 1 person

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