Christ on a bicycle the stench in here is unbearable. So let’s not dwell on it too much, here are the games that should really just fuck right on off into the sea.
Shaq-Fu (Super Nintendo)
A Game so terrible we are getting a reboot. Who says the gaming industry isn’t run by fucktards.
Terminator 2 (Commodore 64)
Man this game is bad, and not in a so bad it is good, not in a check it out its bad way. Just a “It’s really fucking bad and plays even worse” kinda way.
Jurassic Park (Super Nintendo)
Just think of all those poor kids who woke up on Christmas day in 1993 to this as their Christmas presents. The look of hope and joy in their eyes extinguished as soon as they turned Jurassic Park on to discover it is an unplayable spunk bubble.
Musya: The Japanese Tale of Horror (Super Nintendo)
Musya is just bad. It is one of those games where I muted the sound after 15 seconds. Imagine a beat ’em up/platformer where you’re a Pikeman with zero range and the platforming is broken.
It is fucking awful and deserves microwaving. The only reason I haven’t trashed this game is it cost me $75.
Star Wars: Flight of the Falcon (Gameboy Advance)
Space combat has never been so boring.
Simpsons Wrestling (PlayStation 1)
This is a big bag of wank. Never play it.
Sonic the Hedgehog 06 (Various Consoles)
Pahahahahahahahahahaha, this game is bad and it should make Sonic fans feel bad.
Resident Evil: Survivor 2 Code Veronica
An utterly pointless and terrible adaption of one of the best Resident Evil games. Broken, dull and not worth your time.
Mad Dog McCree
Fucking awful. Good idea, terrible game – unresponsive, glitchy, short, poorly acted, intelligence insulting nonsense. This counts for all three Mad Dog McCree games.
Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub Zero
Only games deserve a score, and Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub Zero barely counts as a game so it gets no score. It’s only redeeming quality is that watching somebody else play it is absolutely hilarious.
Yeah, we know, everyone knows that Bubsy3D is terrible, but our mate Nik (who we should probably mention is no longer our mate) tried convincing us it isn’t as bad as people say. He was wrong.
Sonic Adventure is Shit. We’ll explain in full when we finish our 97 minute long doom-prog album about it.
Sonic the Fighters
Sonic the Fighters is pretty much what Sonic fanbois deserved (I take offense to this statement – Craig), terrible imbalanced shite (this statement, however, is incredibly apt – Craig) that sums up our relationship with Team Sonic