E3 predictions

I am writing this in May, but will probably post it when everybody else is posting just before E3 or during because who doesn’t like a wall of noise?

I used to get hyped around E3 and all the shiney new goodness that came out of it, but the last 5-6 years have been a cavalcade of meh to the point that I didn’t bother to pay any attention to the last 2 years.

So what are my predictions? And do I have any enthusiasm for this circle-jerk anymore?

Nintendo Switch

  • Will get 5 WiiU ports, and nothing good 3rd party (Sonic doesn’t count). People will get overly hyped by this. I will augh when people get hyped at a Star Fox WiiU port is announced to much hype.
  • Something Pokemon, something Fire Emblem, and one left of field game announcement. There will be one new Nintendo IP.
  • More Amiibos.
  • Rerelease of the same Virtual Console titles
  • We might see some more Gameplay of Mario Oddyssy, but I bet Nintendo will do there usual underwhelming E3 show.
  • A Super Nintendo Mini that will have 5 copies made, so eBay scum can scalp.
  • Gameplay of  *laughs* another Skyrim remake

The others

IE, the two current gen consoles.

PS4

  • Expect ONE PS4 exclusive that will blow your minds
  • Bloodbourne 2
  • Last of Us 2 extended trailer
  • Something Uncharted
  • Probably a tiny bit of the Final Fantasy VII remake

XBone

  • Expect ONE XBone exclusive that’ll more or less be Halo…
  • Expect the specs/price of Scorpio, the new XBone model. I reckon they’ll go in at a cheaper price than the PS4 in an attempt to actually try to catch up on Sony’s sales.
  • Expect me to audibly laugh when the Scorpio exclusive is a racing game

Then (both consoles);

  • 5 Reboots
  • 3 Remakes
  • A tonne of sequels that are in the 4th-10th sequel range
  • and at least 10 sequels to games that are into the late teens in terms of actual numbers. (Assassins Creed, Call of Duty, FIFA, Madden et al).
  • Gameplay footage of a Resident Evil remake

PC

Since VR has sold so well expect a new version of VR headsets announced, Oculus 2, and maybe an improved HTC Vive. This tech will cost you your liver but the ones interested will remortgage their houses for it, the rest will safely ignore it.

No Half Life 3.

Ubisoft

  • Expect a tonne of Gameplay trailers for games that are released broken and Buggy.
  • A shitty Rabbids thing

EA

Insert EA’s presentation they have done for about 20 years. Sports titles, a crappy version of FIFA for Switch, and maybe a Battlefront spinoff.

Bathesda

They haven’t done anything for a while, and it is probably too early for another Fallout. So Expect a new Elder Scrolls tease.

What we won’t see

  • Any thing Red Dead Redemption 2
  • A proper game in VR that isn’t a jumpscare-a-thon
  • Half Life 3
  • A new Metroid
  • Gamecube games on Virtual Console
  • Gqameplay of Death Stranding
  • Anything from Konami

Conclusion

It is going to be shit, but I am mostly interested in watching people on Twitter who think they have insider information talk about the mad exclusives they know about.

But is anyone hyped for anything? Please somebody get me hyped!

 

 

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17 thoughts on “E3 predictions

  1. I’m kind of hyped for Switch, just because it’s so new still. I agree we’ll probably see more in the way of ports. But porting from Wii U isn’t a bad thing. Wii U sold so poorly and had a very small install base. Combine that with some poor software sales, there’s tons of titles that people missed out on, like Bayonetta 2 and many others. I think it’s a good move to bring some of these over because they were otherwise overlooked just because of the platform they were on. I actually like the thought of SF Zero coming to Switch. On it’s own, I don’t think it’s a bad game by any means. It’s the closet we got to SF64 since. Only bummer were the forced motion controls. The controls could work, but it required some serious concentration and devotion from people, and for an arcade style shooter, it was too much to ask for, and in a way poorly implemented. So I wouldn’t mind seeing this come to the Switch, because I think it would be better received and hopefully sell well enough that Nintendo doesn’t consider putting the series on the ice.

    Oh ya, and a Metroid announcement would be rad, but like you, it’s only a dream and I don’t think we would realistically see anything on this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh man, this was great. “A Super Nintendo Mini that will have 5 copies made” had me in stitches. Too true and I won’t be surprised at all when it inevitably happens! At this point it’s too widely known – any “mini” will be sold out immediately as scumbag scalpers buy up all the stock and resell them for 50x the price, while Nintendo makes it even harder to produce Switches or Minis while in competition with Apple resources.

    I don’t follow Sony or MS because in my opinion they are completely out of touch with the modern consumer. Like the distance between Earth and the Sun out of touch.

    I cannot wait for E3 for Switch news but I am expecting to be very disappointed by tons of 3DS-exclusive releases that will never see the light of day on the Switch. New games on old consoles, and then old games from the WiiU re-released for the new console. Like you replied earlier, they didn’t convince me to get a WiiU back when they first released, and they still won’t get me to buy them now even though I already have a Switch.

    Just hoping they don’t screw this up…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m done with DLC, ports, remakes, HD, VR, 4K, 3D and everything else that is a chance to HUSTLE me out of my money. Sequels too, with a slim few exceptions.

    I’ll read all about it when it’s over. Twitter, YouTube and the bandwagon will run their phony exclusive broadcasts and I will watch NONE of them.

    Liked by 1 person

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