Bubsy 3D. Telstar (1997) PlayStation

Bubsy_3D

“… one of the sleeper hits of ’96… an experience that no action/platform gamer should miss” –PSEExtreme

 

This is the worst game I have ever played.

 Graphics

PlayStation graphics, on the whole, didn’t age well. There isn’t a word suitable for the shit-storm of terrible graphics in Bubsy.

Take the below screenshot as an example.  This is the first level. This isn’t even Megadrive/Genesis standard. I dislike Jurassic Park on the SNES. Toy Story on PS1 only dabbled in a 3d level. But both of those piss all over the abomination on the eyes that is Bubsy 3d.

FUCKING AWFUL

Bubsy 3D Graphics comparison

The Story

The story… Yeah, there actually is a story. And somebody got paid for writing it.

The Woolies kidnap Bubsy, and transport him to their home planet. For some reason the ship explodes, Bubsy escapes, and then through a set number of levels you build a ship, collect atoms, and finish the game.

The camera…

It is a well known issue with early 3D games that the camera had issues. Well, Bubsy did everything wrong.

  • The camera is too close to the “action”
  • You can’t control the angle
  • it follows you, but only when pressing forward
Stretched image is streched

Stretched image is streched

These 3 things mean you can’t tell what you’re really doing.

The camera also gives you a complete lack of depth perception. For a game, where the primary mode of attack is to jump on somebodies head, they didn’t half make it impossible. You jump, slightly glide, then Mario stomp down. The only problem is? It doesn’t work, so that’s a pretty big problem!!! You’ll miss, (i missed 60-70% of the time) and then you’ll take a hit. 3 hits, and you’re dead. So… You die. A LOT.

The platform sections are next to impossible too. Again, when you jump, you glide a little. With the (AWFUL) camera angle you can’t really tell where you will land. There is a shadow under Bubsy, but this only gives SOME indication of where you are. You will land somewhere vaguely resembling the area indicated to you by the shadow.

Overall

This game, is fucking horrible. We do avoid terrible games here at Games Revisited, but sadly, I was persuaded to play this by Dr Nik (DICK!)

I have no measurable scale for how awful Bubsy 3d actually is.

DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME. Even for £4.50 INCLUDING postage on eBay it is not worth it.

I fully support putting this cat to sleep.

Pros: Turning the game off. the review at the top single handily proving the cause of Gamergate

Cons: Everything… Absolutely everything… Things… Stuff

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3 thoughts on “Bubsy 3D. Telstar (1997) PlayStation

  1. Pingback: Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks, Midway (2005) PlayStation 2 | Games Revisited

  2. To this day, I struggle to fathom how something as unappealing and obnoxious as the Bubsy series managed to last as long as it did. Like, was it really necessary to make four games, six if you count the Game Boy version of Bubsy 2 and the PC version of the first game?

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